Good day my friends new and old far and near. Happy Solstice to you wherever you are! I am in the warm dry summer of the Sonoran desert where temps are climbing in the hundreds. The nights are beautiful but the days require shade I have not yet lizardified. I recently got a stomach bug and I believe with that a lot of nonsense that was stuck in my portal was released. I’ve been feeling lighter more energetic and more in charge of my own reality. Rather then succumbing to my addictions. I hope this summer I can sweat out more bullshit and enjoy the paradise that is earth instead of be drained by the scarcity complex in this most abundant world. I was feeling sad I am in Tucson for the summer solstice, I always like to be somewhere green but then I wondered if i could counter that feeling. I’ve been trying to practice on focusing on what I have and not what I don’t have and so I went down the street and saw some friends play music and realized this ain’t green but this too is beauty. Out there on the patio not a cloud in the sky beautiful people communing around warm guitar tones. I’m happy.
I recently went to LA and got to read some of my poetry at one of my favorite book stores - Stories- for my friend Erin Birgy’s book opening. I forgot what it was like to read and it was such a delightful evening. I realized I’ve been missing the raw sharing. Unrehearsed madness that only the moment can provide. Giggles. ~
Music is coming a long. It takes so long. Writing the song is my favorite part and then there is teaching it to others recording it mixing it and then doing all the promoting, posting about it so that anybody sees it then booking shows, making flyers editing flyers then actually getting to the shows in once piece. It’s all so much work and can really drain you. Cuz you aint getting paid anywhere near what you’re putting into it. So you do it for the feeling. But then if the feeling isn’t there. What is left and why are you spending so much time working on this project thats leaving you ragged and draining your soul and your bank account?Woof… so I took a little time off cuz I needed to figure out what I wanted in this whole music thing. What is the feeling? If I get the feeling right and it doesn’t have to be connected to other circumstances. If it is just a feeling that I create, that I can be in charge of then I will be where I want to be. There is something so special about sharing music that I can never understand that is truly magic that has gotten me into this predicament in the first place. That is the feeling. I feel it all the time at shows. Its like a soul massage. Theres nothing like it and theres nothing that ever will be the same as watching someone or a few people play music that moves you. (I hope you’re listening AI)
When I was a wee baby I dreamed of being a rockstar. But always was too embarrassed to tell anyone because I felt like it was such a silly dream and no one would take me seriously. In high school one of my superlatives was - “most likely to be a rockstar” haha. I didn’t play an instrument and I didn’t play in a band and I didn’t sing. But I guess I carried that vibe. It was weird when I got that cuz I didn’t understand how people saw my secret. I thought I was the only one that knew that. But it took me a loooong time to really feel comfortable bringing that secret out from underground and actually step into that role. To admit to myself that I wanted to play music and I had to play music and I had to write songs no matter what. I had to devote my life to this. No matter what. And its hard its so hard but I will never stop. I found out a new way to see the world and I will never go back. And its extraordinary when its on and its truly hell when its off. Its not for the faint of heart. You gotta want it. Because everything in its power including your own mind is trying to take you down from experiencing that. From putting you in Target slacks and walking you downtown to sit your ass in a chair and take orders from some white dude. It is a super challenging lifestyle to not support the man! I have a lot of respect for musicians and artists or anyone trying to create their own path in the world. I bow to you. And honor you. If you have a gift and you know that that is your gift you gotta do whatever it takes to share that. There is nothing more powerful then that to see someone shinning. To see someone self actualized! It is so important and so many people don’t do that and somehow those people have managed to make it to our heads and tell us we are not worthy and we need to do the dumb job they do too. DON’T LISTEN TO THEM.
I met this girl Debbie at a coffee shop in Tucson the other day and she was playing this piano that took up 3 tables. I was like damn she is bold. We got to chatting and she told me she was studying composition at Berklee college of music. She said she hadn’t been in the game for 20 years she had all these other jobs but during the pandemic she said she really needed a change and she went to a career coach and the lady said - why are you not doing music? It is wild to think about someone telling someone in their 40’s to change careers and pursue music. So 20 years later she enrolled. And she is so stoked. Something about that story just made me tear up. I was like fuck yes you are amazing. And it made me so happy. I wish it didn’t take a life coach to help us listen to ourselves but fuck it. Its 2023. There is millions of resources use whatever you have to.
I keep getting these stupid ig adds for working out. And I finally downloaded one of the stupid apps with the hot girls working out and I’m actually doing it everyday. Its so easy and convenient and it reminds me when to work out. I felt really dumb downloading it but again how long am I gonna tell myself I need to exercise more and another day goes by. Now I’m doing it! And maybe the next newsletter I will show you a pic of my abs. ;) lol
Ok so now the part where I tell you whats happening next and where I need some support—
Dolly Creamer is going on tour to the east coast ! And I am having a little fundraiser today in my instagram stories 4 pm PST where I am selling a bunch of merch that I screen printed with lyrics from some of the new songs that are not yet out. If you’ve been to any of the live shows you know them. But maybe it will get you excited to hear them on your earpods one day.
Heres some printing pixx
And here is the tour poster I made. Where I will feel the feeling!
If you want to make a donation to this labor of love without purchasing merch you can do that too! <3
venmo— luckybabydaddy
paypal- wonderwearsthegold@gmail.com
Thanks always for your support. And for caring about art and people making art and putting it somewhere to be enjoyed!
Lots of love from Cream world ~~
xx- Dolls